








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1830 | 47% |
| Smokes | 611 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1013 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 464 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $792,567 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | JEN | 57% | 91 |
| #6 | FAGZ|S4mple | 49% | 37 |
| #7 | Mikker | 43% | 96 |
| #8 | Tagerbager | 36% | 22 |
| #9 | okzq | 13% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | okzq | 28 | 0.0394 |
| #2 | Mikker | 25 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | JEN | 16 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Neptünas | 10 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | king_bob | 8 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEN | 188 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | king_bob | 116 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mikker | 99 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | FAGZ|S4mple | 69 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | okzq | 56 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king_bob | +2.11 | 54 | 35 |
| #2 | Robert Paulson | +1.79 | 56 | 45 |
| #3 | FAGZ|S4mple | +0.92 | 59 | 34 |
| #4 | Mikker | -0.84 | 59 | 42 |
| #5 | XxX_UrmasPillak_XxX | -1.01 | 41 | 28 |





