








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 244 matches | ||
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




301 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6280 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3857 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 6693 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5912 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,744,165 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 787 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king_bob | 63% | 140 |
| #2 | JEN | 52% | 721 |
| #3 | grexcu | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | FAGZ|S4mple | 50% | 106 |
| #5 | XxX_UrmasPillak_XxX | 49% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEN | 2316 | 0.17 | 47 min |
| #2 | FAGZ|S4mple | 248 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | king_bob | 237 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Robert Paulson | 210 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tagerbager | 181 | 0.07 | 3 min |





