








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 121 matches | ||
| Wingman | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3954 | 50% |
| Smokes | 2041 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 894 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 963 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $821,588 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEN | 58% | 118 |
| #2 | Mikker | 50% | 106 |
| #3 | Robert Paulson | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | okzq | 27% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEN | 58% | 118 |
| #2 | Mikker | 50% | 106 |
| #3 | Robert Paulson | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | okzq | 27% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | okzq | 96 | 0.0326 |
| #2 | JEN | 35 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | Mikker | 34 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | Robert Paulson | 6 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEN | 436 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | okzq | 215 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mikker | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Robert Paulson | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robert Paulson | +4.78 | 56 | 32 |
| #2 | Mikker | +1.27 | 45 | 51 |
| #3 | FAGZ|S4mple | +1.17 | 50 | 33 |
| #4 | JEN | +0.93 | 46 | 62 |
| #5 | okzq | -3.38 | 15 | 21 |





