








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 415 | 16% |
| Smokes | 574 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 877 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,932 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 33% | 9 | ||
| 33% | 21 | ||
| 30% | 10 | ||
| 29% | 24 | ||
| 16% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 8 | 0.0219 | ||
| 6 | 0.0314 | ||
| 5 | 0.0131 | ||
| 5 | 0.0148 | ||
| 4 | 0.0162 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| +9.37 | 58 | 36 | ||
| +3.43 | 69 | 45 | ||
| +1.90 | 56 | 17 | ||
| +1.56 | 69 | 39 | ||
| #5 | Neptünas | +0.86 | 56 | 36 |





