








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 895 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2054 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2550 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1952 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,913 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [FR]Pouskik | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | ॐ YaGo ॐ | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | - SanGokuChiChi - | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | BlackPanters | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | Vadech (FR) | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Vadech (FR) | 45% | 55 |
| #6 | momobak76 | 45% | 66 |
| #7 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 43% | 115 |
| #8 | Nanard | 40% | 50 |
| #9 | Painfret le Balafré | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vadech (FR) | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Nanard | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | [FR]Pouskik | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ॐ YaGo ॐ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nanard | 327 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #2 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 183 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | ॐ YaGo ॐ | 153 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | momobak76 | 105 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | BlackPanters | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlackPanters | +2.29 | 48 | 52 |
| #2 | - SanGokuChiChi - | +1.67 | 63 | 68 |
| #3 | Kilas | +1.06 | 71 | 52 |
| #4 | Nanard | +0.50 | 56 | 72 |
| #5 | ॐ YaGo ॐ | +0.39 | 66 | 65 |





