










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3326 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1145 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2278 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1831 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,561 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CokeMann | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Kilas | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 47% | 212 |
| #4 | KENNY HESSSSSSS | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CokeMann | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Kilas | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 47% | 212 |
| #4 | KENNY HESSSSSSS | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENNY HESSSSSSS | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Kilas | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | CokeMann | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 410 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | KENNY HESSSSSSS | 174 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kilas | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | CokeMann | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENNY HESSSSSSS | +1.64 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Kilas | +1.42 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | ॐ YaGo ॐ | +0.64 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | CokeMann | -0.61 | 54 | 45 |
| #5 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | -2.66 | 13 | 44 |





