








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 504 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12421 | 39% |
| Smokes | 9190 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5898 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4323 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,315,765 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | ☁Para☂chute☁ | 45% | 58 |
| #16 | Oceros - Fallritas | 42% | 102 |
| #17 | Sagara` | 40% | 114 |
| #18 | Kilas | 40% | 50 |
| #19 | Vietcong > **** | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itokat | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | MissCutiee | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | _Loda | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Le Gibier | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Oceros - Fallritas | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mialouhhh | 301 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Azrok | 280 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | itokat | 247 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | [FR]Pouskik | 169 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | MissCutiee | 161 | 0.07 | 4 min |





