








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 149 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1449 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 319 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1225 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $172,037 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ॐ YaGo ॐ | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | BlackPanters | 46% | 72 |
| #4 | Kilas | 45% | 55 |
| #5 | Totemus | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlackPanters | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Kilas | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | PsyCho_^ | 2 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | [FR]Pouskik | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Mili | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nanard | 163 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #2 | BlackPanters | 51 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kilas | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ॐ YaGo ॐ | 34 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PsyCho_^ | +3.15 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | BlackPanters | +3.06 | 56 | 51 |
| #3 | Kilas | +1.70 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | Totemus | +1.66 | 48 | 60 |
| #5 | ॐ YaGo ॐ | +0.80 | 82 | 62 |





