








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 728 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7046 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5081 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3314 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3558 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,489,328 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JD | 63% | 56 |
| #2 | Phill | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | sLg|LucKeR | 59% | 115 |
| #4 | mxve | 58% | 76 |
| #5 | Llama | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mxve | 52% | 98 |
| #9 | Rantanplan | 52% | 112 |
| #10 | Warum | 48% | 52 |
| #11 | Diva | 46% | 78 |
| #12 | Jon4s | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mxve | 47 | 0.0245 |
| #2 | mxve | 26 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | sLg|Noumet | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Rantanplan | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | p a t u | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg|Noumet | 377 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | p a t u | 344 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | mxve | 327 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | mxve | 244 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | JD | 202 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p a t u | +3.47 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | mimas | +2.76 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | sLg|Noumet | +2.06 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | JD | +0.05 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | Warum | -0.81 | 65 | 56 |





