








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2773 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3159 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4653 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3837 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,237,945 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Phill | 40% | 35 |
| #17 | des Todes | 38% | 26 |
| #18 | Emil | 38% | 29 |
| #19 | sLg | Josh Homme | 35% | 37 |
| #20 | sLg|FiRE | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jon4s | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | mimas | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Diva | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | sLg|Noumet | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | sLg|LucKeR | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg|Noumet | 408 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | mimas | 384 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jon4s | 355 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | JD | 263 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | AzE | 171 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p a t u | +2.90 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | sLg|Noumet | +2.66 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | mimas | +2.48 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | AzE | +2.17 | 47 | 73 |
| #5 | JD | +0.95 | 68 | 59 |





