








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 709 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1251 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 689 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 754 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,108,971 of utility $312 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JD | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | p a t u | 62% | 76 |
| #3 | mimas | 59% | 115 |
| #4 | Warum | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Emil | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Llama | 42% | 97 |
| #11 | sLg|w4eld0r | 42% | 24 |
| #12 | Phill | 40% | 30 |
| #13 | Diva | 39% | 109 |
| #14 | des Todes | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rantanplan | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | mimas | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Jon4s | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Diva | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | sLg|Noumet | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mimas | 400 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | sLg|Noumet | 248 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Rantanplan | 184 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | p a t u | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Diva | 140 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p a t u | +4.25 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | xsanjin | +3.01 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | mimas | +2.55 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | sLg|Noumet | +1.74 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | Warum | +0.90 | 75 | 58 |





