








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 411 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




523 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9220 | 47% |
| Smokes | 4918 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1518 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 4113 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,346,063 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6740 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizu | 72% | 61 |
| #2 | Blue Partyhat | 70% | 76 |
| #3 | ♥ cherry | 63% | 155 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤𝚃𝚞𝚛𝚋0 | 60% | 194 |
| #5 | ꜱɪʀ ɢʀɪꜰꜰɪ | 59% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ꜱɪʀ ɢʀɪꜰꜰɪ | 59% | 56 |
| #6 | SagesDope | 54% | 462 |
| #7 | 2c3nt.chump | 53% | 233 |
| #8 | dames ツ | 53% | 277 |
| #9 | 22c3nt.chump | 53% | 324 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SagesDope | 167 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | 22c3nt.chump | 72 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | 2c3nt.chump | 36 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | dames ツ | 34 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤𝚃𝚞𝚛𝚋0 | 30 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dames ツ | 1172 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | SagesDope | 639 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #3 | 22c3nt.chump | 564 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | 2c3nt.chump | 370 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | Blue Partyhat | 217 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✭𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖊✭ | +6.07 | 75 | 41 |
| #2 | Blue Partyhat | +4.86 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | ♥ cherry | +0.24 | 81 | 27 |
| #4 | dames ツ | -0.25 | 28 | 62 |
| #5 | SagesDope | -0.40 | 24 | 31 |





