








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 234 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1191 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2087 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2221 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2560 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,480 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eevi | 67% | 55 |
| #2 | milf<3 | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | ainzaip | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | Läähpuuh | 61% | 41 |
| #5 | aapo! | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Zuba♛ | 50% | 48 |
| #11 | trapezoid | 47% | 17 |
| #12 | welho(: | 42% | 24 |
| #13 | Verttii | 38% | 13 |
| #14 | aikaläppä:D (time fläp) | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuba♛ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Läähpuuh | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Verttii | 2 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mebisa | 433 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | Zuba♛ | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | xartE | 95 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | Läähpuuh | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | welho(: | 57 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aapo! | +3.85 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | Verttii | +2.91 | 74 | 46 |
| #3 | Zuba♛ | +2.53 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | welho(: | +2.49 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | Yks palli | +2.37 | 78 | 39 |





