








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1676 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1992 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1641 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2023 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $559,492 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jepzonツ | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | eevi | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | DeMaisteriX | 76% | 17 |
| #4 | JekKU | 73% | 15 |
| #5 | eikk4 | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #21 | Hatsib♡b | 45% | 11 |
| #22 | Arttu01 | 45% | 11 |
| #23 | Hapsu | 45% | 20 |
| #24 | Creaticide | 41% | 17 |
| #25 | Waliho | 20% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mebisa | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Jesa | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Macce | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Hatsib♡b | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Kaakelberg | 2 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mebisa | 371 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Leiska | 256 | 0.35 | 8 min |
| #3 | Waliho | 95 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | urbanurger | 86 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | hatman | 80 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hatman | +3.32 | 56 | 85 |
| #2 | eikk4 | +3.28 | 83 | 74 |
| #3 | JekKU | +3.13 | 58 | 77 |
| #4 | DeMaisteriX | +2.74 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | Kaakelberg | +2.48 | 76 | 60 |





