








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 427 | 15% |
| Smokes | 467 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 917 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 961 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,280 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ainzaip | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Zuba♛ | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | henski | 67% | 55 |
| #4 | N1ckeee | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Mebisa | 65% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Läähpuuh | 52% | 29 |
| #7 | akvaariokala | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | ZooG | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | nuoriHosujab0b:D | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐛𝐢𝐩vonem | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | henski | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Läähpuuh | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Mebisa | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | akvaariokala | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | N1ckeee | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mebisa | 192 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | henski | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Läähpuuh | 62 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | akvaariokala | 50 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | nuoriHosujab0b:D | 46 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1ckeee | +4.39 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | Zuba♛ | +4.33 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | ZooG | +2.90 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | henski | +1.99 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | ainzaip | +1.41 | 64 | 69 |





