








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3845 | 41% |
| Smokes | 295 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 2705 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2542 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,143 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪IGRIS | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Ram Torreto #biharibabu | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | ✪sT/\R|_o®D | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | iNNNNfy | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | ◔◡◔ Ez | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TBK | Tharki Nunnu Daddy | 52% | 104 |
| #8 | Storm Shadow | 52% | 60 |
| #9 | drinkwaterhot | 50% | 56 |
| #10 | PARADOX | 44% | 39 |
| #11 | ObiWanCanBlowMe | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm Shadow | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | TBK | Tharki Nunnu Daddy | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | PARADOX | 6 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | ◔◡◔ Ez | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | ✪sT/\R|_o®D | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪sT/\R|_o®D | 284 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Storm Shadow | 271 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | TBK | Tharki Nunnu Daddy | 196 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪IGRIS | 153 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | ◔◡◔ Ez | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ram Torreto #biharibabu | +4.60 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | ✪sT/\R|_o®D | +3.91 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | ✪IGRIS | +3.28 | 65 | 64 |
| #4 | Storm Shadow | +3.06 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | iNNNNfy | +1.93 | 75 | 65 |





