








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2404 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2481 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1579 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1947 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,282 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskari^ | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | Dovasi | 48% | 101 |
| #3 | TATA COAL TRUCK | 47% | 68 |
| #4 | EJR | 44% | 106 |
| #5 | pulik :3 | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | EJR | 44% | 106 |
| #5 | pulik :3 | 44% | 43 |
| #6 | jonttusetä | 40% | 134 |
| #7 | Simo | 38% | 24 |
| #8 | NiksA | 37% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EJR | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | NiksA | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | TATA COAL TRUCK | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Dovasi | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | jonttusetä | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dovasi | 384 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | EJR | 375 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | NiksA | 195 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | jonttusetä | 137 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | pulik :3 | 117 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskari^ | +3.81 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | EJR | +2.43 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | Simo | +1.24 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | TATA COAL TRUCK | +0.01 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | Dovasi | -0.05 | 64 | 61 |





