








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 537 | 25% |
| Smokes | 549 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 586 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 467 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $243,903 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dovasi | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | pulik :3 | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | NiksA | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | RaFHATCent | 47% | 68 |
| #5 | EJR | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | RaFHATCent | 47% | 68 |
| #5 | EJR | 41% | 32 |
| #6 | Simo | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | jonttusetä | 34% | 32 |
| #8 | oskari^ | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaFHATCent | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | NiksA | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | EJR | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Dovasi | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaFHATCent | 219 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | EJR | 101 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dovasi | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | NiksA | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | jonttusetä | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EJR | +1.30 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | Simo | +1.16 | 62 | 58 |
| #3 | oskari^ | +0.87 | 88 | 75 |
| #4 | Dovasi | +0.39 | 66 | 50 |
| #5 | TATA COAL TRUCK | +0.06 | 71 | 60 |





