








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 706 | 25% |
| Smokes | 593 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 825 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 718 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,352 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TATA COAL TRUCK | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Simo | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | jonttusetä | 47% | 68 |
| #4 | EJR | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | NiksA | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jonttusetä | 47% | 68 |
| #4 | EJR | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | NiksA | 45% | 47 |
| #6 | Dovasi | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | RaFHATCent | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaFHATCent | 8 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | NiksA | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | jonttusetä | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | EJR | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | TATA COAL TRUCK | 1 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dovasi | 106 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | RaFHATCent | 97 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | EJR | 97 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | NiksA | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | jonttusetä | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EJR | +4.16 | 73 | 78 |
| #2 | Simo | +3.93 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | TATA COAL TRUCK | +0.54 | 62 | 58 |
| #4 | Dovasi | +0.52 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | RaFHATCent | +0.38 | 53 | 59 |





