








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Esplay | 31 matches | 1,535 | |
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1391 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1392 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1195 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $659,252 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mataka | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | AukustiCat | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | MAYHEMi | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Flovi | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | Oogie Boogie | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oogie Boogie | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Flovi | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | AukustiCat | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | DrunkenElf | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | DJ FITME | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flovi | 210 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Oogie Boogie | 168 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jone | 168 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | ANgryCroCK | 123 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | AukustiCat | 120 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ FITME | +4.26 | 92 | 54 |
| #2 | Flovi | +3.01 | 51 | 78 |
| #3 | MAYHEMi | +1.88 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | Jone | +1.65 | 38 | 74 |
| #5 | Paljas Uneksija | +0.61 | 50 | 67 |





