








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1291 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1691 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1710 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1370 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,865 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjoreng | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | Jens | 62% | 61 |
| #3 | Potato Juice | 61% | 89 |
| #4 | Genixッ | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Wandeq | 58% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Potato Juice | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Bjoreng | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Wiwe | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Jens | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Sim Dong Blud | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jens | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bjoreng | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Wandeq | 95 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Potato Juice | 84 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jonersins | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wandeq | +3.64 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | Genixッ | +2.67 | 70 | 73 |
| #3 | Jens | +1.21 | 50 | 58 |
| #4 | Potato Juice | +1.12 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | MrAugusto | +0.99 | 69 | 59 |





