








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 853 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3353 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2781 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2110 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3133 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,105,160 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skapeloff | 73% | 64 |
| #2 | big-book | 73% | 70 |
| #3 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 71% | 92 |
| #4 | sergei | 68% | 63 |
| #5 | KorolArbuz | 66% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 30 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | Vortx | 19 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | big-book | 17 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | KorolArbuz | 12 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | puella, te amo ♥ | 11 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puella, te amo ♥ | 535 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | skapeloff | 269 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 253 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Vortx | 241 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | sergei | 114 | 0.09 | 2 min |





