








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2249 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2197 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1481 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1491 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,853 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puella, te amo ♥ | 76% | 29 |
| #2 | garou | 73% | 64 |
| #3 | big-book | 71% | 42 |
| #4 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | sergei | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | big-book | 71% | 42 |
| #4 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | sergei | 61% | 36 |
| #6 | Vortx | 57% | 44 |
| #7 | фисташки прайм | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garou | 28 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | big-book | 14 | 0.0164 |
| #3 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 9 | 0.0241 |
| #4 | Vortx | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | sergei | 6 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garou | 271 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Vortx | 113 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | puella, te amo ♥ | 93 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | big-book | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 61 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puella, te amo ♥ | +5.20 | 85 | 51 |
| #2 | ✪Theopaf✪ | +2.57 | 92 | 54 |
| #3 | skapeloff | +2.13 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | Vortx | +1.96 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | garou | +1.38 | 70 | 46 |





