








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3617 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1989 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 940 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1599 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,978 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big-book | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | skapeloff | 76% | 29 |
| #3 | Vortx | 65% | 55 |
| #4 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 65% | 57 |
| #5 | garou | 64% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | garou | 64% | 139 |
| #6 | KorolArbuz | 62% | 50 |
| #7 | sergei | 60% | 15 |
| #8 | Remlina | 59% | 27 |
| #9 | switch- | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garou | 33 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 13 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Vortx | 12 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | KorolArbuz | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | skapeloff | 6 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garou | 470 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | ✪Theopaf✪ | 156 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vortx | 115 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | skapeloff | 112 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Remlina | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puella, te amo ♥ | +4.29 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | ✪Theopaf✪ | +2.02 | 88 | 60 |
| #3 | Vortx | +1.39 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | garou | +0.62 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | skapeloff | +0.47 | 76 | 47 |





