








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 477 | 4% |
| Smokes | 3462 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4903 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 2062 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,078 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | 41% | 135 |
| #2 | big pappa | 41% | 49 |
| #3 | Useless | 37% | 322 |
| #4 | Cbaakind | 36% | 36 |
| #5 | krazy | 35% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krazy | 12 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Hoddse | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Useless | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | YouLikeCookies | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | big pappa | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MorDi | 509 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Hoddse | 454 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | Useless | 411 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | krazy | 232 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | big pappa | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | +4.42 | 67 | 65 |
| #2 | big pappa | +3.89 | 48 | 60 |
| #3 | krazy | +3.75 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | Useless | +1.64 | 60 | 48 |
| #5 | NorahBorah | -1.22 | 39 | 34 |





