








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1362 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1423 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1093 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1061 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,650 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eeär | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | UKSU LFT | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | volvoraggare | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | master of rizz | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | ✪ Fiileew | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UKSU LFT | 15 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | ✪ Fiileew | 12 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | AQSU | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Thomadson | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | volvoraggare | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomadson | 753 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | ✪ Fiileew | 217 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Eelis | 177 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | master of rizz | 165 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | volvoraggare | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | volvoraggare | +3.80 | 64 | 61 |
| #2 | Eeär | +2.79 | 66 | 53 |
| #3 | AQSU | +2.48 | 52 | 53 |
| #4 | ✪ Fiileew | +2.42 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | UKSU LFT | +1.81 | 49 | 42 |





