








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1654 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3033 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6689 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 4873 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,167,856 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 621 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazard * Finlayson | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | volvoraggare | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | UKSU LFT | 53% | 97 |
| #4 | master of rizz | 52% | 66 |
| #5 | Eeär | 50% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Fiileew | 35 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | UKSU LFT | 35 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | Thomadson | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | -?- | 16 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Eelis | 13 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomadson | 943 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | ✪ Fiileew | 784 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #3 | -?- | 526 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #4 | Eelis | 516 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #5 | Eeär | 455 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | volvoraggare | +2.77 | 59 | 62 |
| #2 | Hazard * Finlayson | +2.11 | 87 | 51 |
| #3 | ✪ Fiileew | +1.83 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | Edulis | +1.69 | 62 | 51 |
| #5 | AQSU | +1.36 | 46 | 52 |





