








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1341 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1219 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1481 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,239 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burgerimies | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | VJVJ | 50% | 179 |
| #3 | ߷ | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | Lil wh | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | The Markku | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lil wh | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | The Markku | 45% | 22 |
| #6 | Kismet | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | moneycriminal | 45% | 107 |
| #8 | Maukosen iiro | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VJVJ | 63 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | moneycriminal | 28 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | ߷ | 22 | 0.0228 |
| #4 | Kismet | 20 | 0.0333 |
| #5 | Maukosen iiro | 17 | 0.0146 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VJVJ | 329 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Maukosen iiro | 101 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | ߷ | 71 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | moneycriminal | 64 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lil wh | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil wh | +4.35 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | rizzmo laitela | +2.73 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | VJVJ | +2.73 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | ߷ | +0.76 | 56 | 38 |
| #5 | Burgerimies | -0.67 | 21 | 68 |





