








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1734 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1630 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 782 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 841 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $786,226 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burgerimies | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | The Markku | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Lil wh | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | ߷ | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | rizzmo laitela | 50% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ߷ | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | rizzmo laitela | 50% | 179 |
| #6 | Kismet | 48% | 50 |
| #7 | moneycriminal | 47% | 124 |
| #8 | Maukosen iiro | 40% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rizzmo laitela | 49 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | moneycriminal | 26 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Maukosen iiro | 23 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | ߷ | 23 | 0.0220 |
| #5 | Kismet | 21 | 0.0243 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rizzmo laitela | 311 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Maukosen iiro | 146 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | moneycriminal | 80 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | ߷ | 79 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kismet | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil wh | +6.90 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | rizzmo laitela | +2.68 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | VJVJ | +2.43 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | ߷ | +0.74 | 52 | 38 |
| #5 | Burgerimies | -0.50 | 23 | 66 |





