








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 981 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2044 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 998 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,836 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trött som gatan | 50% | 157 |
| #2 | マイケル | 47% | 110 |
| #3 | Jeba | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | 𝓐𝓛𝓔𝓧 | 41% | 85 |
| #5 | Kumlander | 41% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | マイケル | 47% | 110 |
| #3 | Jeba | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | 𝓐𝓛𝓔𝓧 | 41% | 85 |
| #5 | Kumlander | 41% | 119 |
| #6 | johndsten.Duck | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trött som gatan | 19 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | マイケル | 14 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | 𝓐𝓛𝓔𝓧 | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | johndsten.Duck | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Kumlander | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | マイケル | 454 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Trött som gatan | 241 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kumlander | 208 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | 𝓐𝓛𝓔𝓧 | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | johndsten.Duck | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | マイケル | +3.30 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Trött som gatan | +2.65 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | johndsten.Duck | +2.58 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | 𝓐𝓛𝓔𝓧 | -0.01 | 55 | 54 |
| #5 | Jeba | -1.60 | 49 | 61 |





