








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2854 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3971 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2103 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3635 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,765 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoistMeatMissile | 56% | 59 |
| #2 | Jeba | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Trött som gatan | 51% | 144 |
| #4 | マイケル | 48% | 137 |
| #5 | 𝓐𝓛𝓔𝓧 | 46% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trött som gatan | 20 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | マイケル | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Ding Ling-Wang | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | 𝓐𝓛𝓔𝓧 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Jeba | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | マイケル | 356 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | 𝓐𝓛𝓔𝓧 | 314 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Trött som gatan | 229 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kumlander | 208 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jeba | 138 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | マイケル | +2.20 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | johndsten.Duck | +2.00 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | MoistMeatMissile | +1.23 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | Trött som gatan | +0.63 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | 𝓐𝓛𝓔𝓧 | -0.32 | 59 | 60 |





