








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 521 | 25% |
| Smokes | 825 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 419 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $39,871 of utility $5 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ♱ACE♱ | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | Cuuko | 48% | 40 |
| #10 | f1x1e | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | BigJimmy(BunBun) | 42% | 85 |
| #12 | -MissBehavin | 37% | 52 |





