








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1764 | 47% |
| Smokes | 212 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 477 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,518 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | worldedit^ | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | ShappaDap | 45% | 60 |
| #3 | Jimara | 45% | 38 |
| #4 | N | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | polio | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShappaDap | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | polio | 7 | 0.0247 |
| #3 | Jimara | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | worldedit^ | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | N | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimara | 125 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | ShappaDap | 77 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | N | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | worldedit^ | 63 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | polio | 24 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ST4RL3ON | +3.83 | 45 | 59 |
| #2 | Jimara | +1.33 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | rut | +0.66 | 81 | 50 |
| #4 | polio | +0.42 | 82 | 44 |
| #5 | N | +0.29 | 65 | 59 |





