








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1928 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 543 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11527 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8785 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7522 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8636 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6749 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,503,732 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GD3 <3 ohlana | 55% | 274 |
| #4 | worldedit^ | 54% | 249 |
| #5 | thrisk | 50% | 243 |
| #6 | ✪Jorge333NEA | 49% | 65 |
| #7 | Jimara | 48% | 279 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thrisk | 1726 | 0.34 | 33 min |
| #2 | Jimara | 1023 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #3 | worldedit^ | 807 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | GD3 <3 ohlana | 426 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #5 | ✪Jorge333NEA | 247 | 0.18 | 6 min |





