








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 309 | 31% |
| Smokes | 165 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 201 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $118,923 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REMI | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Terminator | 47% | 38 |
| #3 | Neb | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | mєиtalwαi Do broNx | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | TheDinkster | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mєиtalwαi Do broNx | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | TheDinkster | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | Luke | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | MIMIMAN | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | .seth | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terminator | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Luke | 2 | 0.0192 |
| #3 | REMI | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | mєиtalwαi Do broNx | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terminator | 69 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Neb | 65 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #3 | REMI | 31 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | TheDinkster | 31 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | .seth | 26 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheDinkster | +7.75 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Neb | +5.10 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | .seth | +3.96 | 89 | 65 |
| #4 | Terminator | +2.46 | 57 | 49 |
| #5 | REMI | +2.27 | 83 | 49 |





