








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1514 | 35% |
| Smokes | 471 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1110 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1208 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,409 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .seth | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | REMI | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | Terminator | 63% | 96 |
| #4 | MIMIMAN | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | mєиtalwαi Do broNx | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Terminator | 63% | 96 |
| #4 | MIMIMAN | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | mєиtalwαi Do broNx | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Craig Skinflute | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | kev | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terminator | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | REMI | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Craig Skinflute | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | mєиtalwαi Do broNx | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Terminator | 181 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | REMI | 118 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | MIMIMAN | 97 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | kev | 42 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #5 | .seth | 26 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neb | +3.93 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | .seth | +3.65 | 48 | 69 |
| #3 | kev | +2.98 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | Terminator | +2.08 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | mєиtalwαi Do broNx | +1.20 | 59 | 66 |





