








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1095 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 168 matches | ||
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4796 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3557 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2195 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4353 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,502,625 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1763 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DURP | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | Neb | 63% | 96 |
| #3 | .seth | 62% | 103 |
| #4 | REMI | 60% | 154 |
| #5 | MIMIMAN | 58% | 374 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | .seth | 62% | 103 |
| #4 | REMI | 60% | 154 |
| #5 | MIMIMAN | 58% | 374 |
| #6 | kev | 50% | 54 |
| #7 | Craig Skinflute | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIMIMAN | 30 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | REMI | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | .seth | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Craig Skinflute | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Neb | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIMIMAN | 1301 | 0.18 | 37 min |
| #2 | REMI | 579 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | Neb | 503 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #4 | .seth | 396 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #5 | kev | 306 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neb | +3.81 | 66 | 65 |
| #2 | DURP | +2.76 | 60 | 76 |
| #3 | Terminator | +2.51 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | kev | +2.13 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | REMI | +1.95 | 85 | 66 |





