








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 383 matches | ||
| Wingman | 285 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8706 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4958 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4740 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3443 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,857,523 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chimaera | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | Lawmax | 50% | 90 |
| #3 | VraM | 49% | 53 |
| #4 | B4C0N | 47% | 318 |
| #5 | _T1m | 47% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lawmax | 50% | 90 |
| #3 | VraM | 49% | 53 |
| #4 | B4C0N | 47% | 318 |
| #5 | _T1m | 47% | 76 |
| #6 | Vetax | 45% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B4C0N | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Lawmax | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Vetax | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | _T1m | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | VraM | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vetax | 810 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #2 | B4C0N | 557 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Chimaera | 260 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | Lawmax | 189 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | _T1m | 109 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chimaera | +3.29 | 73 | 82 |
| #2 | B4C0N | +2.79 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | VraM | +2.09 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | _T1m | +0.93 | 57 | 49 |
| #5 | Vetax | -0.07 | 64 | 76 |





