








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3773 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5369 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4736 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3520 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,349,676 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lawmax | 48% | 413 |
| #2 | BigBootyBeasty | 47% | 57 |
| #3 | Moonrocks | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | VraM | 47% | 81 |
| #5 | Chimaera | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chimaera | 47% | 75 |
| #6 | -1IQ PLAYS | 46% | 57 |
| #7 | ★C20_H25_N3O★ | 45% | 97 |
| #8 | Tac | 42% | 52 |
| #9 | PulgA | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lawmax | 42 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Tac | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | VraM | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ★C20_H25_N3O★ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Chimaera | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lawmax | 807 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | Chimaera | 349 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | ★C20_H25_N3O★ | 292 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Moonrocks | 202 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | PulgA | 127 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chimaera | +2.03 | 70 | 81 |
| #2 | _T1m | +1.07 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | VraM | +0.38 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | ★C20_H25_N3O★ | +0.14 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | -1IQ PLAYS | -0.59 | 72 | 62 |





