








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 879 | 25% |
| Smokes | 804 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 826 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1065 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,882 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuuma Tullimies | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | nic00s | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Rons♛ | 56% | 61 |
| #4 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Coach (entinen "ammattilainen") | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Rons♛ | 56% | 61 |
| #4 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Coach (entinen "ammattilainen") | 52% | 50 |
| #6 | Onks oenq täällä? PENAAA | 44% | 18 |
| #7 | iIdA tÄsSÄ hEiiiiiii | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coach (entinen "ammattilainen") | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | nic00s | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Kuuma Tullimies | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Onks oenq täällä? PENAAA | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nic00s | 165 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | Coach (entinen "ammattilainen") | 152 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rons♛ | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kuuma Tullimies | 139 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | 67 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | +3.48 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | Henkistä! | +0.80 | 62 | 70 |
| #3 | Coach (entinen "ammattilainen") | +0.79 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | Rons♛ | +0.51 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | nic00s | -0.49 | 50 | 68 |





