








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 714 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Wingman | 283 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7046 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6915 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 9216 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6915 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $958,800 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harman | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | Bicatze | 50% | 380 |
| #3 | Jack. | 48% | 207 |
| #4 | Mixtaflex | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | Clydee. | 47% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harman | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | Bicatze | 50% | 380 |
| #3 | Jack. | 48% | 207 |
| #4 | Mixtaflex | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | Clydee. | 47% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bicatze | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Jack. | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Clydee. | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Harman | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Mixtaflex | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clydee. | 1092 | 0.25 | 26 min |
| #2 | Jack. | 719 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | Bicatze | 402 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #4 | Harman | 108 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mixtaflex | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DZGNER | +0.67 | 61 | 78 |
| #2 | Jack. | +0.06 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | Bicatze | -0.16 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Clydee. | -0.61 | 60 | 71 |
| #5 | Harman | -1.79 | 60 | 62 |





