








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 741 | 28% |
| Smokes | 621 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 754 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 541 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,024 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 133 | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | Ossinaator | 51% | 102 |
| #3 | Herr Sour | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | Torbik | 48% | 97 |
| #5 | KrisTheSniper | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KrisTheSniper | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | FarmerFred | 47% | 51 |
| #7 | Lärry | 42% | 31 |
| #8 | Külmkapi Ott | 36% | 33 |
| #9 | E60 Touring 525D M 2008 LCi | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herr Sour | 18 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Torbik | 16 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Ossinaator | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Lärry | 8 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | Külmkapi Ott | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ossinaator | 236 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Torbik | 124 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | KrisTheSniper | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lärry | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | FarmerFred | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Ramesh | +7.36 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | Lärry | +0.96 | 43 | 60 |
| #3 | Külmkapi Ott | +0.13 | 58 | 31 |
| #4 | 133 | -0.47 | 52 | 30 |
| #5 | FarmerFred | -0.72 | 70 | 34 |





