








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 292 | 18% |
| Smokes | 380 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 590 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 391 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,183 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Special Forces] Billy | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | BioUser | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Ossinaator | 45% | 60 |
| #4 | FarmerFred | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Torbik | 38% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lärry | 32% | 31 |
| #8 | Herr Sour | 31% | 13 |
| #9 | 133 | 29% | 14 |
| #10 | KrisTheSniper | 17% | 6 |
| #11 | E60 Touring 525D M 2008 LCi | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Ramesh | 12 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | Lärry | 10 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | Herr Sour | 10 | 0.0417 |
| #4 | Torbik | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Ossinaator | 7 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ossinaator | 134 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Torbik | 81 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lärry | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lil Ramesh | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | BioUser | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Ramesh | +6.06 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | Lärry | +2.20 | 43 | 65 |
| #3 | BioUser | +1.17 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | Külmkapi Ott | +0.84 | 54 | 36 |
| #5 | 133 | +0.47 | 53 | 46 |





