








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 610 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1392 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1574 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1122 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,532 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Ramesh | 48% | 97 |
| #2 | E60 Touring 525D M 2008 LCi | 42% | 19 |
| #3 | Herr Sour | 41% | 146 |
| #4 | KrisTheSniper | 41% | 27 |
| #5 | Lärry | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Lärry | 40% | 50 |
| #6 | FarmerFred | 40% | 70 |
| #7 | Külmkapi Ott | 38% | 58 |
| #8 | Ossinaator | 38% | 180 |
| #9 | 133 | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herr Sour | 50 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | Lil Ramesh | 25 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Ossinaator | 18 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Lärry | 15 | 0.0161 |
| #5 | Külmkapi Ott | 10 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ossinaator | 318 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lil Ramesh | 116 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lärry | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | KrisTheSniper | 68 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Külmkapi Ott | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Ramesh | +8.51 | 89 | 50 |
| #2 | Lärry | +2.48 | 46 | 59 |
| #3 | Külmkapi Ott | +2.13 | 59 | 38 |
| #4 | FarmerFred | +1.19 | 69 | 35 |
| #5 | 133 | +0.94 | 50 | 35 |





