








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 355 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 726 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13338 | 40% |
| Smokes | 8553 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9423 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2022 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,888,499 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theman | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | β―π½ππππ | 51% | 183 |
| #3 | stubkjaer | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | βMR-PAIN-KILLER(DK)β | 43% | 132 |
| #5 | Steffen | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | stubkjaer | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | βMR-PAIN-KILLER(DK)β | 43% | 132 |
| #5 | Steffen | 42% | 59 |
| #6 | >o<3 HYGGER >o<3> [DK] <3>o<3 | 41% | 107 |
| #7 | βjokerβ | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >o<3 HYGGER >o<3> [DK] <3>o<3 | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Steffen | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | β―π½ππππ | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | βMR-PAIN-KILLER(DK)β | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | theman | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β―π½ππππ | 222 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | >o<3 HYGGER >o<3> [DK] <3>o<3 | 189 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Steffen | 155 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | βMR-PAIN-KILLER(DK)β | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | βjokerβ | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stubkjaer | +4.08 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | βjokerβ | +2.86 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | β―π½ππππ | +1.58 | 49 | 65 |
| #4 | >o<3 HYGGER >o<3> [DK] <3>o<3 | +0.35 | 26 | 62 |
| #5 | theman | +0.04 | 22 | 35 |





