








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 583 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6973 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5892 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7845 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7040 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,152,460 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 49% | 35 |
| #2 | ⚓joker⚓ | 47% | 238 |
| #3 | Steffen | 44% | 57 |
| #4 | Saga | 41% | 107 |
| #5 | Steffen | 41% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ⚓joker⚓ | 47% | 238 |
| #3 | Steffen | 44% | 57 |
| #4 | Saga | 41% | 107 |
| #5 | Steffen | 41% | 197 |
| #6 | stubkjaer | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steffen | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ⚓joker⚓ | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Saga | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Steffen | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steffen | 507 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | ⚓joker⚓ | 234 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | Saga | 203 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Steffen | 99 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Andy | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stubkjaer | +3.78 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | ⚓joker⚓ | +2.48 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | >o<3 HYGGER >o<3> [DK] <3>o<3 | -0.62 | 25 | 64 |
| #4 | Andy | -1.19 | 47 | 55 |
| #5 | Steffen | -2.04 | 18 | 75 |





