








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2283 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1480 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1943 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1379 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,864 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | platu | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | SymmaTree | 46% | 78 |
| #4 | Demenishki_enjoyer | 45% | 73 |
| #5 | Typical | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tragedy | 43% | 56 |
| #8 | 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 | 42% | 36 |
| #9 | RaBB1T | 40% | 15 |
| #10 | prof Blue | 35% | 55 |
| #11 | ✪RuNn3r420✪ | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demenishki_enjoyer | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | SymmaTree | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | prof Blue | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tragedy | 158 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 | 119 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | SymmaTree | 116 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 96 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | prof Blue | 95 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | platu | +1.96 | 68 | 36 |
| #2 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | +1.42 | 44 | 59 |
| #3 | Demenishki_enjoyer | +1.20 | 57 | 40 |
| #4 | 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 | +0.48 | 83 | 47 |
| #5 | prof Blue | +0.02 | 50 | 45 |





