








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 761 | 22% |
| Smokes | 873 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1027 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 764 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,179 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xor2004 | 51% | 101 |
| #2 | Turbosweet | 47% | 83 |
| #3 | ATG | 45% | 126 |
| #4 | politimann | 45% | 126 |
| #5 | cruple | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xor2004 | 51% | 101 |
| #2 | Turbosweet | 47% | 83 |
| #3 | ATG | 45% | 126 |
| #4 | politimann | 45% | 126 |
| #5 | cruple | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATG | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | politimann | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | xor2004 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Turbosweet | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | politimann | 314 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Turbosweet | 157 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | cruple | 93 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | ATG | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | xor2004 | 28 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MainBruws | +1.33 | 72 | 46 |
| #2 | politimann | +0.93 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | cruple | +0.02 | 48 | 62 |
| #4 | Turbosweet | -0.41 | 49 | 50 |
| #5 | ATG | -1.58 | 48 | 44 |





