








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 683 | 37% |
| Smokes | 385 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 481 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 304 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,888 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xor2004 | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | politimann | 40% | 45 |
| #3 | Turbosweet | 38% | 29 |
| #4 | MainBruws | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | ✪ Gareck | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Turbosweet | 38% | 29 |
| #4 | MainBruws | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | ✪ Gareck | 31% | 13 |
| #6 | ATG | 24% | 29 |
| #7 | Suhslok | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | politimann | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | MainBruws | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | xor2004 | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | ✪ Gareck | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Turbosweet | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | politimann | 133 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Turbosweet | 69 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ Gareck | 39 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | MainBruws | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ATG | 19 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MainBruws | +1.66 | 73 | 46 |
| #2 | politimann | +1.64 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | ✪ Gareck | -0.15 | 80 | 55 |
| #4 | cruple | -0.44 | 37 | 63 |
| #5 | ATG | -0.78 | 47 | 43 |





