








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3918 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3693 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3020 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2632 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $729,816 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just PooPoo | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | Jumperrino | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | Shad!X | 49% | 166 |
| #4 | F1NCH | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | iddqd | 47% | 259 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iddqd | 31 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Shad!X | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | F1NCH | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Jumperrino | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | akimoto | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iddqd | 888 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | Shad!X | 424 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | F1NCH | 216 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jumperrino | 139 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | akimoto | 70 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1NCH | +4.59 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | Just PooPoo | +0.78 | 56 | 49 |
| #3 | cal | +0.51 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | akimoto | +0.01 | 38 | 52 |
| #5 | iddqd | -0.06 | 60 | 67 |





